What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
