I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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