Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
