I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
