YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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