Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
