That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
