Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
