Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
