I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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