i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
