Whod you bang
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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