I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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