Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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