Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she peed on how many people?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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