I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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