And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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