I heard we made out
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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