Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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