And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize