u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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