Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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