ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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