That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Life is so much better after having sex.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize