i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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