just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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