watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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