Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
