please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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