And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
