garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
