The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I have post one night stand depression
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize