oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
