Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
