just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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