I can tuck mytits in my pants
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
