is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
