OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
