bring money and cleavage
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
