i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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