I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
