Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
