I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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