I cockslap morals
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
