honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
