Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
