IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
