that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
