Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Two words: nipple clamps
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