i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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