I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
