I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
All I want is dick and wine.
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