She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
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