a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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