I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
