Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
