Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
