i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
